Jennifer Blacklock

Having little routines and rituals as a family is so important for connection and attachment. These little things we may count as “too small to be important” but we don’t realize the deeper impact they’re actually having on us and our children- things like the greetings we give each other in the morning with a side hug and smile or how we do sign language “I love you” when waving goodbye. 

We have two simple daily rituals- one for the morning, one for the evening- that are life-giving and helpful for fostering attachment and reflection. Attachment is what holds families (and all relationships) together. Reflection is important for gaining perspective, processing the good and the hard, making sense of life, and gaining emotional intelligence.

Though we do these as a family with young children, they would be excellent practices to adopt into your day if you’re single or with your spouse or older kids as well!

1. GRATITUDES

In the morning, usually after breakfast, the kids and I each write down five things we’re grateful for. We each have our own little notebook (we made some simple ones by cutting regular printer paper into quarters, folding a stack of them in half, stapling the spine, and drawing on the cover to personalize them). I once heard that something grateful people do is share the things that they’re thankful for with someone else, besides writing them down; so we share at least one thing from our own lists with each other before we go about our day. This quick little ritual is growing us into more grateful people and helping us to share a close moment with each other before other things.

2. ROSES AND THORNS

At bedtime, before we pray and read together, we each share a rose and a thorn. Each day has its share of good and bad, and this is a simple way to process some of that. It seems that often kids want to talk at bedtime anyway- go through things that happened and their thoughts and feelings- this is a way to invite that instead of rushing past it. Usually Justin does this part of bedtime with the older kids while I put the baby to sleep. It’s nice for him, since he’s at work during the day, to be let in on the highs and lows that the kids experienced and let them in on his own.

I hope these ideas are helpful to you and that you might add one or both into your day! Please like or comment if you enjoyed reading!