Jennifer Blacklock Blog

The morning Willa was born, after everyone had a few hours of rest, we all just lounged around. We would spend another night in the AirBnb and had the whole day to just nap, talk, be together and coo over brand-new baby.

I had thought often during the end of the pregnancy about how I would be intentionally slow during the postpartum period- something I’ve never been intentional about before. I’d always jumped right back into things as fast as possible- I thought being “up and about” proved my worth somehow; I also struggle with guilt when anyone is too nice to me/helps me with things that are my responsibility. I’ve since learned that “getting right back to it” after giving birth can actually contribute to postpartum depression, which has always been a struggle for me with all the rapidly changing hormones that come with pregnancy and birth.

This time around everything was different after having had the tubal and reversal and being determined to have a vaginal birth after three c-sections. This was one of the things that was different- I was going to rest and be gentle to my body after birth. I recognized that the middle of winter, when Willa would be born, was such a beautiful time to have a baby and gentle postpartum season because the whole world around me is being slow and restful. There’s not much work to be done outside, and it’s natural to want to be cozy inside the warm house. Of course, any time of year can be restful, but winter is instinctively so.

On that morning after the birth, while we were all resting and lounging, my friend who’d been there for the birth said that after she had her fourth son, also a winter baby, her midwife had told her, “this is your season for soft”.

I love that. My season for soft. I’m no poet, but that phrase inspired me try to write something that captured the beauty of the gentleness of that morning and that advice:

Sunshine dripping through slanted blinds,

Sleepily I lay with my new baby.

Stillness and peace over all the house.

Surrounded by close ones, all of us serenely happy,

Sitting, resting, watching her breathe.

Simply enjoying each other’s presence and Savoring moments, praising God.

Such hard work, so many hours, finally finished.

Sarah, repeats something her midwife said after her own winter baby’s birth, “this is your

Season for soft”.

Soft new baby.

Soft postpartum tummy.

Soft, slow, restful recovery in the

Silent dormancy of winter,

Soft and sleeping until spring.

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Tips for “soft” postpartum:

This is the first time I ever allowed myself to be really restful after having a baby. Here are some of the things I did that helped me most:

–Preparing some freezer meals and food ahead of time (lasagna, soup, burritos, sourdough bread, bone broth).

–Saying “yes please” when someone offered to bring a meal.

–Asking someone to pick up our groceries for us that first week.

–Asking/letting my husband and the older kids take care of goat milking and household chores for the first two weeks.

–Laying down and staying warm with Willa- usually on the couch by the fire.

-Allowing more screen time than usual for things we could watch as a family that wouldn’t be overstimulating to me (mostly the Andy Griffith show, haha!)

–Taking a break from schoolwork for the first couple weeks.

-Saying “I’m going to go lay down with the baby” and taking her to my room/closing the door for quiet and solitude if I became overstimulated (especially by visitors).

–Keeping necessary things near my bed/couch like diapers and wipes, a glass of water, extra blankets, the breast pump, etc.

–Sitting in the sun when it was warm enough.

–Keeping baby close to me, nursing on demand, not worrying about the time/schedule/how much sleep we were getting.

–Keeping a journal for thoughts and recording moments and memories.

–Staying completely off of social media and the internet for the first couple weeks to allow myself to process the birth and new season without distraction/overstimulation.

These things were so beneficial to me this postpartum period. It was a soft season indeed!