Jennifer Blacklock Blog

“Oh what peace we often forfeit / Oh what needless pain we bear / All because we do not carry / Everything to God in prayer”

I’ve often forfeited the peace God offers and, instead, fretted and worried and let myself be burdened with fear and anxiety. But how wonderful it is when we carry “everything to God in prayer” and experience His peace.

Two weeks ago we came home after a day out to hear the tiniest “baa”s- one of our goats had had her babies! Josephine had given birth to twins all on her own! We held the tiny babies and petted Jo in admiration and dropped everything else to make their shelter warm for the January night.

The next day it was all still so new and exciting but something wasn’t right- Josephine was acting very uncomfortable and weak. Next day- still. I did a ton of research and considered different possibilities from retained placenta to selenium deficiency to ketosis to urinary infection. I administered various nutrients, herbal remedies and vitamins, but on the third day she could hardly stand and was still straining and grunting.

God led me in my research, and I finally determined she must have another baby dead inside her. But three days of it? Three days of laboring and the baby starting to decompose inside her! How horrible! How could she make it another minute? I was soooo stressed and anxious (understandably, I think). I was literally pacing and going back and forth from the house to her pen, sitting with her for hours just watching her, trying to get her to eat or drink anything only to be met with refusal.

I had read a story/journal entry by Elisabeth Elliot recently about a little wild pig she watched out her window trying to get some food from a bird feeder but stumbling on a hurt leg. She wrote something like “God may have placed this little pig outside my window just so I could pray for him, and I did”. I think God made Josephine my goat so I could pray for her in this.

I had called the vet, and they could only get her in that afternoon and only if we took her in, which I knew she didn’t have the strength for, but that was the only option. I was also worried about the cost of the vet. A farm animal, for one thing, and besides that, what would she need? Surgery? Was this going to be hundreds of dollars? More? Justin and I agreed that we had to take her if she needed to go, and we’d figure out finances afterwards. I prayed throughout it all, and God sustained her and all of us. Some of my attempted solutions to help her (before I came to my final theory about the baby), I know God showed me in order to make it possible for her to hang on as long as she did- molasses and honey and raspberry leaf tea for energy, deworming for parasites, and vitamin b plus nutridense for a boost of strength. God had also given me peace to allow me to sleep and be present with my family. But that morning (a Monday morning, by the way! What a grace to not have decided we needed a vet until the day one would actually be open!) when I figured it must be another baby and had to wait for the afternoon, I did start forfeiting my peace. I tried to take anything about the situation into my own hands but there wasn’t anything I could control! I had ordered supplies (long gloves, etc.) to have on hand just in case we had needed to assist with any births, so I put on a glove to see if there was anything I could do. I have zero experience, and cried and cringed as I made an attempt, but knew I could do more damage than good not knowing what I was doing, and I gave up, sobbing.

The verse that always sustains me did once again- “do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God which surpasses understanding will guard your hearts and minds with peace in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6-7). I prayed more. “God, thank you for keeping her alive this long, just help her to make it until this afternoon when the vet can see her; You’re the only one who can do the miracle of keeping her alive until then”.

With puffy red eyes I came inside and went about the day. Made lunch and fed the kids, took food to a friend who’d just had surgery, came home, read a bit, tried more to get Jo to eat or drink something, gave Perry a nap.

Finally the time came to take her in; we fixed a place for her in the back of our SUV, God gave me the strength to lift her into the high trunk, Leo sat next to her, and we all prayed more; we prayed that the vet visit would not be in vain.

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The vet came out to our car and I told him what I thought was wrong. He said “I’d be surprised if there was still a baby in there after 3 days, but we’ll check.” He gloved up and we put her on the ground and he reached in and felt around while I held and comforted her in front. She was so quiet and still, and the assistant vet said what I was thinking, that she seemed to know we were trying to help her. The vet said there was “definitely something in there”. The big kids turned their heads away so they wouldn’t see, Perry, my toddler, stared and watched the whole thing. I held onto Jo and pulled her forward with all my might (enough to make me fiercely sore the following day), the assistant held her hips and the vet pulled and pulled. He said several times “she’s just SO small”, indicating it was difficult for him to get a firm grasp on whatever was inside her. I was praying out loud, whispers at first then louder as it became more intense and Josephine was showing so much discomfort. At one point when we were all straining the vet said “keep praying!” Several seconds later he pulled out the dead baby goat.

The assistant gasped and turned away, the vet took off his glove and went inside, and I just praised God. Josephine was instantly so much better. She started walking around (for the first time in these three days) and sniffing and looking around curiously like a goat should.

The vet came back out and flushed Jo with an iodine rinse to prevent infection. He went back inside and came out with 2 injections- an antibiotic and a pain killer for the terrible ordeal. I thanked him a million times and he said he was just glad he was able to get it out and that we could pay in front. I lifted Josephine back in the car and we went around to pay. I was SO relieved, seriously felt like a weight had fallen off. We thanked God over and over. The kids noted how God had certainly made the vet visit be “not in vain” and were surprised when I said that vet just saved Jo’s life. “You mean she would have died if…?” They hadn’t realized the severity of it all, and I was glad; God had given me peace so they could have peace.

So it hadn’t been a surgery but still a very big “procedure” of sorts, but I was so grateful I was ready to pay whatever the vet charged. He deserved it. I told the receptionist our name, and she gave me our bill- a “whopping” $72 total. I seriously almost asked if I could pay extra, because his service was certainly worth more than that. But I just paid it and allowed myself even more gratitude for the wonderful, skilled, kind vet.

Now it’s two weeks later, and Jo and her babies are all doing great! Praise God! He listens to our prayers, He, the God of creation.

“Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7

He is sovereign. There is no bird or flower (or goat) he doesnt see and know (see Matthew 6), and we are more important to him than birds and flowers.